You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
