The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
