Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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