Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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