Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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