So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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