I'm really into asian looking animals
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
