He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
