At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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