it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Boobs are out for the taking
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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