I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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