thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
