"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
