Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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