:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
did i just pee glitter
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
