Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You are the jesus of drinking
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
