Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
