I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Come on in and take your pants off
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