And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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