I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
His nipple licking is glorious
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