we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You made out with two different species that night
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
