trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
