I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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