I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
