so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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