I hate your face
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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