how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
