if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
