New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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