I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i already hear my dad disowning me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
