Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
This show inspires me to have sex in space
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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