you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
