Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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