so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just made my gag reflex go away.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think your dad took our porno
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
