can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
