My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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