At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
