How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
