he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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