he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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