I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Drunk is a universal language darling
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
