so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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