Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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