i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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