I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
