Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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