fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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