So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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