I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
