Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
