i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
