Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
